never loosing hope

i've been reminiscing about past "love"... not real ones, but the ones that mean so much when your little. i usually think about the horrible ending they had, the boy leaving etc. but i decided that it best to remember the sweet part, as to make a collection in my mind like a film. i don't mean that i will forget how it hurt, that helps me see clearly any future guy to come my way. but when i'm alone just wondering its best to just think of things that make you smile, be positive.
like with Oscar, i loved how secretive we were, never letting anyone see us flirting (it was the time in life when boys and girls weren't friends), he would always bring me smth from the or share food :) the one thing i never forget is how he used to come really close and ask if i was ok, even when i was just lazying around, i used to do it on purpose just so he'd come hang out for a min...
with Daniel it was all hidden, this was when i was in my last year in school, boys were allowed to flirt in public with girls, yet he was so shy. what i remember is how we first really met, his jacket on the floor i pick it up rap it around him, smile and he just looks at me. i knew that was the moment was when he realized i wasn't just an annoying girl in class, because after that day he never stopped looking at me... from a distance he would always be look (not in  a creepy way) i still have a few of the drawing he would pass me during class. he would hold my hand, look at me; no stare, OMG HE WOULD SMOLDER!!! HA! loved it i guess :3

                        

 

yup, there might have been other boys, but nothing stayed, these two just keep creeping their way back into my head...
i hope they're doing well, i have them on facebook, but i like to be the stalking kind... BAH! lies! we've all been there, looking back... not like a "what if"type of way, just remembering :) the next guy better be like this and more <3

understanding

Yesterday i watched the most wonderful movie ever! i've seen so many crazy love movies, i was even planning to make a poat of my top 10... but this one in particular changed  the list. it made me think what movies have been romantic, and which have given me a realistic view on love. 

don't get me wrong,  when it come to love i'm the #1 fan, but since my parents split yet still live together, i've always wanted to know what makes people stay united and what causes the separation.

i'm so fascinated by all this that for my final project for the semester is about making a book about "Love Through the Ages", basically a bunch of story of couples, good, bad, obsessive, downright adorable etc.

going back to the movie, it’s Before Sunrise, i have to say i saw the sequel a long time ago on tv but i never finished it, i never understood the characters, their story. and now the third movie came out i was curious, what was it about? i found out that it was a trilogy that started in the '80s and that between each movie, 9 years passed. i found it funny, nine years in real life passed too, before the second and last one came out.

i decided to download the first one, since i guessed you had to see it to understand the rest. it stared out so wired, just random things happening until the meet on the train. and well i am a fan of the odd realist way people film sometimes. the way they talked was so true, least i related to it, i mean the guys i've met do act the way he did, except they don't look as cute and have the perfect timing :P 

why this movie bumped my top fav movie, was because it gave me hope that i might meet someone in the most strange way, and that i should give people a chance to impress me. be adventures (with measure)

my sister has gotten back with her boyfriend, they been together for like 2 and a half years, they're planning to live together in a few more years and then they plan to get married. this future wedding has my sister on cloud nine, she’s been looking for dresses, decorations and leaving me pictures of rings so i can casually tell the "groom" when the time comes her likes and dislikes. 

as much as i love my sister and as much as i love love, and as much as the movie did make me realize that love comes in odd ways, i can't help but feel jealous of her. she has what i've wanted for ages, she never wanted to fall in love, at least that’s what shed tell me. but anyhow, i feel like she takes my ideas and turns them into her future, falling in love with someone from another country, traveling, doing things that wanted to too. i sometimes think that i shouldn't have told her my dreams, that i should have kept them a secret, so as to make them into my reality, not hers. i love her, i adore the man who is to be my future brother in law, he’s like a brother already... ok so i'm letting it all out right now, i'm very happy for her, she really does deserve everything she wants, but does it have to be so similar to what i wish for?... we are sisters :S you know i have a feeling that i'm going to meet the NOFACEMAN soon. and if not, the feeling means that when i see him life will change completely, and i'll just know its him :) yup i just keep that in mind, just i smile more during the day :D

Celine: You know what I want?

Jesse: What?

Celine: To be kissed.

Jesse: Well I can do that.

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Celine: If there's any kind of magic in this world... it must be in the attempt of understanding someone, sharing something. I know it's almost impossible to succeed... but who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt.

horoscope of love

As i'm sitting here waiting for my class to start, i decided to look up my horoscope on yahoo shine, it's right most of the time :) it said this: "If wishes were fishes, you'd have a full aquarium -- but it's not wishing that gets results, especially in love. Take at least one real-world step: Make that call, update your online profile, or even just smile."

ah love, what a beautiful way to start the day... daydreaming, when i should actually be working on my project for class. but i can't help that i get most of my inspiration, while i'm waiting for class or during it :S any ways, if i was going to follow what my horoscope says, i'd probable start with the updating my profile  then the smiling thing.. but fat chance i'll call someone up. not only is there a lack of an option, but even if i had one my hand would never reach for the phone.. its just not me.

the romance must be initiated by the guy... i know, old fashion, but what can i say men in that time wear more outgoing... maybe someday i'll make the first move, who knows it may today since the day isn't over yet, but with a phone hell no.

also something i wanted to mention was, if anyone out there might also be going thought this phase of longing something that just isn't there, that  you don't know what you want... i go to my music, and dream. Nothing gets me more spiritual than that. still i try to find it, i hope it will come to me in a dream soon.

ah the teacher is here and i'm off to work like a slave on the computer... most likely i'll be on Facebook or Etsy, always doing sth else. 

Hope you have a wonderful day xoxo

getting to know the romantic

Creating this blog was a real spur of the moment type thing; it occurred to me while i was trying to write a post on my other blog. i was getting worried i was blabbing too much about guys, or romantic stuff there that i  thought maybe i should find a special place for them.

See i've been in love with love since i can remember; i blame the Disney movies with all their prince charming shit... grrr. and i never ever get tired of it. Romantic stories, whether sad, tragic or the happy ending type, doesn't matter, as long as someone kisses the other i'm immersed in it. and yes, i am the type of person that even if the movie is centered around action, end of the world, science and no love, not even flirting going on, i will always find something that makes me try to pare up people.

Book-wise, i love fantasy novels, they perfect, taking me somewhere i've never imagined. so much so that i will always continue the story in my mind, you know, after the happily ever after.

Music is my passion as well, indie music over all. not that i don't like the main stream, trust me i have my fear shear of Jonas brothers and Justin Bieber :/ but indie music is more, to me, from a deeper side of someone... i just love it... but if i ever post a song i like here, feel free to correct me (tell me if it’s not indie) i sometime get it wrong or it changes, because after you've been hearing it for like a year or so more, it finally get on the radio and everyone starts to like it and it becomes main stream UHG! i hate that.

well i actually mentioned music for the reason that it also take me to another place, i can sit on the bus and i'll start creating a story to go along with the music... and of course it's always a love story.

why is it that even  if my parent aren't together, that my sister is in a love hate relationship and most of the people i see are more into what their being in a relationship looks like to others then what they feel, i can still find comfort in love? i still want it, and to sound even more pathetic... long for it?

to sum up, this blog is a about pretty things, heart, rainbows and unicorns (just kidding), but it is about my fascination of romance and well my utter failure in it. cause i might be the got to person for all my friends and family, the person they confined in with all their love issues, even if i've never had those types of problems, EVER, they say it’s just because i listen to the whole story first. But all i know is that anyone even if their stories trash romance and talk crap about love (because of the heart break) i never feel like it won’t happen to me some day, when i finally have my own story to tell.